Lately all the attention on the problems at the Mexican/U.S. border has been prompting lots of discussion in Washington and around the country. What should the United States do about the illegal immigrants? I think there’s plenty we could do.
First, I want to be perfectly clear that I am all in favor of LEGAL immigration. My father is an immigrant to this country. My maternal grandfather was an immigrant. This country was built on the labor and sweat of millions of immigrants.
What I’m opposed to is illegal immigration. The problem is that illegal immigration is a huge boon to the rich and powerful that largely rule this country. Big business loves illegal immigrants – they are cheap, undocumented workers who don’t get benefits. We’ve all heard story upon story of rich people with illegal immigrant nannies, housekeepers, gardeners, etc. Basically, this is a form of slavery and it benefits a very small portion of our population.
The government has no intention of preventing these state-sponsored slaves from getting to the U.S. If it did, there would be preventive measures in place that actually worked. How about cracking down on companies that hire illegals? Wal-Mart, you are among the worst for this. A little slap on the wrist to the biggest company in the world means nothing. Start putting executives in charge of policy in jail!
So what do we do about our porous borders? Here are a few ideas. Of course they’re a bit on the extreme side, but hey, they’ll work.
- Shoot to kill. Yes, not very humane, but is it worse than allowing hundreds of people to die in trailer trucks in the desert every year? Shoot a few of the illegal immigrants and leave their corpses to rot where they fall. The sight this should discourage more than a few from trying to enter illegally. The Neo-Cons would probably love this idea, as they could lump it in with Homeland Security and the War on Terror. One brown-skinned person is pretty much the same as another, right Georgie?
- Build a freakin’ giant wall from California to Florida. Surely if the ancient Chinese could build a 2000 mile wall, we can. Hell, we can hire cheap immigrant labor to help build it and then when it’s done, toss ‘em off and back into Mexico.
- Land mines. Yeah I know there’s that troubling little international ban on the devices, but so what – We’re ‘Merkins, right Georgie? We can pick and choose what laws we want to follow. Geneva Conventions? Who needs ‘em. Constitution? Doesn’t apply to a Theocracy.
- Sharks with lasers. This one might be a bit out there.
Beyond the above ideas, there’s not much that can be done. Our government needs to pressure the Mexican government to work with us in stopping the problem, but that ain’t gonna happen. “W” and his cronies haven’t been able to fix any single problem they’ve encountered yet. Hell, “W” couldn’t even run his baseball team well. Or that oil company. Or his drinking problem. Or his drug problem. Or that little stint in the National Guard. But he’s a damn fine president!
The only way that illegal immigration can be solved is if “W” decides we need to invade Mexico. I mean liberate Mexico. Yeah, that’s it – liberate. After all, isn’t Mexico a terrorist haven? They had to have been involved in 9/11, at least as much as Iraq was. And the Mexicans are brown, just like the Iraqis. Look like terrorists to Neo-Cons. And Mexico has oil. So…we inv, err liberate Mexico and protect their oil assets from their rogue government. Then, we eventually make all Mexicans U.S. citizens, so there can’t be any illegal immigration, and we can continue to exploit a whole new population of brown-skinned people. Oh, they’re U.S. citizens you say. How can we treat them unfairly, you ask? Yeah, you’re right – there’s no such thing as racial discrimination in the U.S. My mistake.