Insane Palin Speech

"Crazy kisses for you! And you! And you!"

This insane, rambling speech is taken directly from her official Governor of Alaska website. I've just added some comments, in red. Enjoy the lunacy.


Hi Alaska, I appreciate speaking directly to you, the people I serve (for 3 more weeks), as your Governor.

People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine. (which is why I’m quitting)

I want Alaskans to grasp what can be in store for our state. We were purchased as a territory because a member of President Abe Lincoln's cabinet, William Seward, providentially saw in this great land, vast riches, beauty, strategic placement on the globe, and opportunity. He boldly looked "North to the Future". But he endured such ridicule and mocking (which you have kindly kept as tradition) for his vision for Alaska, remember the adversaries scoffed, calling this "Seward's Folly". Seward withstood such disdain as he chose the uncomfortable, unconventional, but right path to secure Alaska, so Alaska could help secure the United States. (She writes like an 8th grade cheerleader. A dumb one, at that)
Alaska’s mission – to contribute to America. (what kind of sentence is that?)We’re strategic in the world as the air crossroads of the world, as a gatekeeper of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this - Alaska would be part of America's great destiny.

Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. (another great bit of writing) This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and oil and gas. (is she capable of coherent thought?) It's energy! (yayyy!!!!) God gave us energy. (he gave Saudi’s energy too – I thought he only liked ‘Merkins)

So to serve the state is a humbling responsibility, because I know in my soul that Alaska is of such import, for America’s security, in our very volatile world. (another nonsensical, incoherent sentence) (Don’t start sentences with ‘and’) And you know me by now, I promised even four years ago to show my independence… no more conventional “politics as usual”. (quitting is certainly not “politics as usual” – Mission Accomplished, Sarah!!)

And we are doing well!(again, with the ‘And’, and another exclamation point. Yayyyyy!!!) My administration's accomplishments speak for themselves. We work tirelessly for Alaskans. (Until we quit on them)

We aggressively and responsibly develop our resources because they were created to be used to better our world... to help people... and we protect the environment and Alaskans (the resource owners) (so God created the resources, and gave them to Alaskans?) foremost with our policies.

Here’s some of the things we’ve done: (not “Here’s”, Sarah – you wouldn’t say “here is some of the things we’ve done”, you’d say here ARE some…well maybe YOU would say that, what with your community college education)

We created a petroleum integrity office to oversee safe development. We held the line for Alaskans on Point Thomson – and finally for the first time in decades – they’re drilling for oil and gas.

We have AGIA, the gasline project – a massive bi-partisan victory (the vote was 58 to 1!) (exclamation point – Yayyy!!!) – also succeeding as intended - protecting Alaskans as our (no Sarah – it’s God’s, remember?) clean natural gas will flow to energize us, and America, through a competitive, pro-private sector project. This is the largest private sector energy project, ever. This is energy independence. (nice, ‘Merkins love short, fragmented sentences)

And ACES (stop beginning sentences with “and”) – another bipartisan effort – is working as intended and industry is publicly acknowledging its success. Our new oil and gas “clear and equitable formula” is so Alaskans will no longer be taken advantage of. ACES incentivizes new exploration and development and jobs that were previously not going to happen with a monopolized North Slope oil basin.

We cleaned up previously accepted unethical actions (well that remains to be seen – as there’s no doubt some of your own that will be investigated); we ushered in bi-partisan Ethics Reform.

We also slowed the rate of government growth, we worked with the Legislature to save billions of dollars for the future, and I made no lobbyist friends with my hundreds of millions of dollars in budget vetoes... but living beyond our means today is irresponsible for tomorrow. (she saw this on a bumper sticker once, you betcha!)

We took government out of the dairy business and put it back into private-sector hands – where it should be.

We provided unprecedented support for education initiatives, and with the right leadership, finally filled long-vacant public safety positions. We built a sub-Cabinet on Climate Change and took heat from Outside special interests for our biologically-sound wildlife management for abundance.

We broke ground on the new prison. (this is deserving of a new paragraph?)

And (and and and) we made common sense conservative choices to eliminate personal luxuries like the jet, the chef, the junkets... the entourage.

And (brutal, just brutal) the Lt. Governor and I said "no" to our pay raises.

So much success in this first term – and with this success I am proud to take credit... for hiring the right people! (exclamation point – Yayyy!!!) Our goal was to achieve a gasline project, more fair oil and gas valuation, and ethics reform in four years. We did it in two. It’s because of the people… good public servants surrounding the Governor's office, with servants' hearts and astounding work ethic (quitters have such great work ethics)... they are Alaska's success! (Yayyyy!!!!)

We are doing well!(Yayyyy!!!!) I wish you'd hear more from the media of your state's progress and how we tackle Outside interests - daily - special interests that would stymie our state. Even those debt-ridden stimulus dollars that would force the heavy hand of federal government into our communities with an “all-knowing attitude” – I have taken the slings and arrows with that unpopular move to veto because I know being right is better than being popular (another bumper sticker). Some of those dollars would harm Alaska and harm America – I resisted those dollars because of the obscene national debt we’re forcing our children to pay, because of today’s Big Government spending; it’s immoral (immoral like children out of wedlock?) and doesn’t even make economic sense! (Yes, this is all Obama’s fault. Has nothing to do with the guy in office the previous 8 years, just the 5 months of Obama)

Another accomplishment – our Law Department protected states’ rights – two huge U.S. Supreme Court reversals came down against that liberal (Boo…hiss! Liberal = SATAN!) Ninth Circuit, deciding in our state’s favor over the last two weeks. We’re protectors of our Constitution – federalists protect states’ rights as mandated in 10th amendment. (more brilliant sentence structure)

But you don’t hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you? (I think Thomas Jefferson wrote in a similar style)

Some say things changed for me on August 29th last year – the day John McCain tapped me (tapped you?) to be his running-mate – I say others changed.

Let me speak to that for a minute. (Go ahead, take as long as you need)

Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice. Over the past nine months I've been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations – such as holding a fish in a photograph, wearing a jacket with a logo on it, and answering reporters’ questions. (Right, let’s forget the $150,000 wardrobe, the inability to answer Katie Couric’s questions intelligently, or even coherently, the whole TrooperGate thing, the pregnancy of your unwed teenage daughter, and other ethics questions raised about you)

Every one – all 15 of the ethics complaints have been dismissed. We’ve won! (Yayyyy!!!!) But it hasn't been cheap - the State has wasted thousands of hours of your time and shelled out some two million of your dollars to respond to “opposition research” – that’s money not going to fund teachers or troopers – or safer roads. And (really, this is pathetic) this political absurdity, the “politics of personal destruction” … Todd and I are looking at more than half a million dollars in legal bills in order to set the record straight. And (you just can’t stop, can you?) what about the people who offer up these silly accusations? It doesn’t cost them a dime so they’re not going to stop draining public resources – spending other peoples’ money in their game.

It’s pretty insane (and she knows insane!) – my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with this instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more “politics as usual,” but this isn’t what anyone had in mind for Alaska.

If I have learned one thing: life is about choices! (Yayyyy!!!!)

And (painful, isn’t it?) one chooses how to react to circumstances. You can choose to engage in things that tear down, or build up. I choose to work very hard on a path for fruitfulness and productivity(until I quit). I choose not to tear down and waste precious time; but to build up this state and our country, and her industrious, generous, patriotic, free people! (Yayyyy!!!!)

Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up"(if only you would), but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out. (which is exactly the way you took – quitter!) And (on and on she goes, like a demented wind-up toy) a problem in our country today is apathy. It would be apathetic to just hunker down and “go with the flow”.

Nah, only dead fish "go with the flow". (Nah? Who writes like this other than unintelligent 8th graders and soon to be ex-governors of Alaska?)

No. (quite the fragmented thinker here)Productive, fulfilled people determine where to put their efforts, choosing to wisely utilize precious time... to build up. (this sentence makes zero sense)

And (she’s addicted to stupidity)there is such a need to build up and fight for our state and our country. I choose to fight for it! (until I quit) And (see what I mean?) I'll work hard (until I quit) for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and life... I'll work for (until I quit) and campaign for those proud to be American, and those who are inspired by our ideals and won't deride them.

I will support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the right reasons, and I don't care what party they're in or no party at all (or no party at all – where did she learn how to write?). Inside Alaska – or Outside Alaska. (another incoherent fragment)

But I won’t do it from the Governor’s desk. (no shit, Sherlock)

I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a title to do this - to make a difference... to help people. So I choose, for my State and my family, more "freedom" to progress, all the way around... so that Alaska may progress... I will not seek re-election as Governor. (because obviously with a dolt like you in office, progress is impossible)

And (on and on and on she goes) so as I thought about this announcement that I wouldn’t run for re-election and what it means for Alaska, I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks… travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade – as so many politicians do (what the fuck is she prattling on about?). And (more of the same) then I thought – that’s what’s wrong – many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and “milk it”. I’m not putting Alaska through that – I promised efficiencies (such as quitting mid-term) and effectiveness! (Yayyyy!!!!) That’s not how I am wired (a team of psychologists would have trouble figuring out how you’re wired). I am not wired to operate under the same old “politics as usual.” I promised that four years ago – and I meant it. (Betcha didn’t think that meant I’d quit on ya!)

It’s not what is best for Alaska.

I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.

With this announcement that I am not seeking re-election… I’ve determined it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell; and I am willing to do so, so that this administration – with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future – can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.

My choice is to take a stand and effect change (quitting is such a stand) – not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment. Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time, on another scale, and actually make a difference for our priorities – and so we will, for Alaskans and for Americans. (huh?)

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win. And (and and and) I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! (Yayyyy!!!!) And (make it stop!) I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory. (Actually Sarah, you’re not passing the ball – you’re quitting the game. Big difference, dummy)

I have given my reasons candidly and truthfully (actually you haven’t given one single concrete reason)… and my last day won’t be for another few weeks so the transition will be very smooth. In fact, we will look to swear Sean in – in Fairbanks at the conclusion of our Governor’s picnics.

I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you trust me with this decision – but it’s no more “politics as usual”.

Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do. I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor (hey dummy, you weren’t elected to hold any fucking title – you were elected to SERVE the people of your state!). And (she’s a dreadful writer) my children won’t allow it either.

Some will question the timing. Let’s just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile… (dot dot dot – I’m expecting a few OMGs in here somewhere)

In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life - my children (where the count was unanimous... well, in response to asking: "Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children's future from outside the Governor's office?" It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!" The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that... I think much of it had to do with the kids seeing their baby brother Trig mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently.) Um, (UM!!?? She fucking wrote the word “Um” in a professional statement? Absolutely incredible) by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand that we all could learn so much from someone like Trig - I know he needs me, but I need him even more... what a child can offer to set priorities right – that time is precious... the world needs more "Trigs", not fewer. (who ever said the world needed less Trigs?)

My decision was also fortified during this most recent trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl, to visit our wounded soldiers overseas, those who sacrifice themselves in war for our freedom and security… we can ALL learn from our selfless Troops… they’re bold, they don’t give up (you really learned something about not giving up from them, right?), they take a stand and know that life is short so they choose to not waste time. They choose to be productive and to serve something greater than self... and to build up their families, their states, our country. These Troops and their important missions – those are truly the worthy causes in this world and should be the public priority with time and resources and not this local / superficial wasteful political bloodsport. (war is what is truly important)

May we all learn from them! (Yayyyy!!!!)

*((Gotta put First Things First))* (what the hell is she on?)

First things first: as Governor, I love my job and I love Alaska (so much that I have to quit). It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what’s best for Alaska (I agree with that). I’ve explained why (no, not yet)… though I think of the saying on my parents’ refrigerator (obviously the source of all her philosophical wisdom) that says “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.”

But I have given my reasons… no more “politics as usual” and I am taking my fight for what’s right – for Alaska – in a new direction (nice spin on quitting).

Now, despite this, I don’t want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this real “climate change” that began in August… no, we need hardworking, average (you are certainly the epitome of “average”) Americans fighting for what’s right! (Yayyyy!!!!) And (I wish a high school English teacher would slap her for every one of these) I will support you because we need you and you can effect change, and I can too on the outside.

We need those who will respect our Constitution where government’s supposed to serve from the bottom up, not move toward this top down big government take-over… but rather, will be protectors of individual rights - who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and pass the ball (or quit)when it’s time so the team can win! (Yayyyy!!!!) And (slap!) that is what I’m doing! (Yayyyy!!!!)

Remember Alaska… America is now, more than ever, looking North to the Future. (we are?) It'll be good. So God bless you, and from me and my family - to all Alaska - you have my heart.

And (slap!) we will be in the capable (now there’s change Alaskans can get behind) hands of our Lieutenant Governor, Sean Parnell. And (slap!) Lieutenant General Craig Campbell will assume the role of Lieutenant Governor. And (slap! My God, this is incredible) it is my promise to you that I will always be standing by, ready to assist (by assist, I mean “quit”). We have a good, positive agenda for Alaska.

In the words of General MacArthur said (children write better than this), “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.” (Onward, Christian Soldier!!)

I Return with Palin!!

"Yes, I'm whacked out of my fucking gourd!"

Yes, after many months of not making any posts here, I announce my triumphant return to blogging. And to mark this most momentous of occassions, I have my take on the wacky, strange, befuddled Sarah Palin.

The political world is abuzz with talk and conjecture about her announced resignation today. Why is she resigning? Will she run for preznit? Such good questions!

Now I'm no expert, much like the people at Fox News, but I think that what she did today was political suicide. You can't quit your job as GOVERNOR and think that you are somehow strengthening your political career in preparation for a presidential run.

I think that she's going to run off with Mark Sanford of North Carolina and go to Argentina where they will procreate biblically and ethically. There is David Letterman in Argentina to make fun of her, which is good for her. She couldn't take the mocking from the media, although she did like to dish it out as she displayed in making fun of John Kerry and his long face.

Alaska, you come out a winner in all of this. Your whack job soon to be ex governor will no longer embarrass you. Have you learned any lesson in all of this, about who you elect? Man, I hope so!

Nazi Propaganda At the RNC - Olbermann Outraged

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Generally I don't like to post about something directly addressed by another blog, but in this case I have to comment. There's a great post over at Crooks and Liars about the disgusting propaganda being put forth by the Republican party. There's a bit of video well worth viewing that features Keith Olbermann expressing his anger and pain over the RNC's exploitation of 9/11/01 - remember that George W. Bush was president at the time.

The video equates 9/11/01 - Bush was president - with the Iran Hostage Crisis from 1979, the Cole bombing, and other terrorist acts against the United States. It shows visceral, bloody images of loved ones looking for their missing family members at Ground Zero, posting bloody flyers. It sends the message that 9/11/01 - Bush was president - was an act of war committed by an enemy nation, clearly implied as Iran. At the end of this propaganda, the mindless masses of semi-literate, barely sentient right wingers are chanting USA...USA...USA...USA, as if this was some sort of fucking sporting event!

This piece of propaganda would have made the Nazis proud, indeed it is so eerily similar to see the wild-eyed stares of the nationalist morons as they chant that this could be mistaken for a Berlin rally. I worry for the future of my country.

Dems React To Palin Speech: "Formidable," "Shrill And Sarcastic" (VIDEO)

Sarah Palin is nothing more than a Republican wind-up attack doll. She's attractive, young, and has the genitalia du jour between her Alaskan thighs. The words that come out of her mouth are no more impressive or meaningful than the words spoken by the toy dolls when their strings are pulled on their backs.



When she has to debate, live and without a pre-written speech, much will be learned about the intellectual capacity of this woman who went to 6 colleges in four years - none of which regarded her with any distinction or even recollection of her attending. Less than stellar, for sure.



As time goes by we will certainly see much more of the hypocrisy of the GOP revealed through the Palin unwed mother issue, the Trooper-gate issue, and the Bridge To Nowhere. How apt that we have a presidential ticket of McCain and Palin building another bridge to nowhere, metaphorically speaking of course, for the whole nation.
About Sarah Palin
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Juno From Juneau: A Video Report From The RNC Floor On Palin's Problem

Do these girls, that have the "promise rings" to keep their promise to remain "pure", consider oral and anal "pure"? Seriously, because we've all heard the stories of how the backdoor is ok, and oral is ok, but vaginal intercourse is VERBOTEN! UNPURE! Man, these Republicans sure are raising some messed up children. And as we all know so well, "Abstinence Only" works SO well...
About Sarah Palin
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Palin's Daughter Pregnant, Campaign Announces

Palin's daughter is pregnant maybe for the second time. Let's do the math;

5 months pregnant +

4 month old baby =

9 months


so the math adds up to suggest that Bristol COULD have had the other baby. Not out of the question.


How will this play with the evangelical fundies who espouse abstinence and marriage before babies? A child out of wedlock?! For shame! Surely the poor girl must have accidentally been impregnated while in the presence of some liberal, atheist democrats, like how Alaskan salmon spawn.

About Sarah Palin
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Gestapolice State America

So it has come to this: Dozens Detained Ahead of Convention. The article from the NY Times details arrests, illegal searches, and intimidation of innocent people who may or may not have been planning to protest the RNC in St. Paul. This is NOT America anymore people! This is something out of a fascist handbook, a totalitarian police state, a Nazi government.

It has now gotten to the point in George fucking W. Bush's nation that riot police will smash down our doors and search our homes, arrest us, and detain us because they think we might be planning to engage in our Constitutional given right to peacefully protest and freely express our speech. What is this?! When will the book burnings begin? When will the gays, Jews, communists and other "undesirables" be rounded up and shipped out?

Is this the image of the Republican Party, the vision they have for America -



The people that were detained by the Gestapo/police in St. Paul had their computers taken, their homes searched, and they were detained without charge, all for doing what we are all allowed to do, at least in theory. The trampling of our Constitution continues, the erosion of our Bill of Rights continues, and the American people continue to do nothing to stop it. Awareness is key, voting for Obama is key, taking back our country from these fucking neocon fascist bastards that have fucked us and the world for these past eight years is key! Talk to people, let them know what's going on. Turn off the TV and pay attention to political matters - the Rights you save may be your own!

Olympic Stupidity, Greed and Abuse

I am not and will not be watching the Olympics. Between the forced fake political chuminess that happens every 4 years, and the inevitable political, human, and drug-related scandals that will occur, I just don't find this interesting as a sport event. What is interesting is the incredible shallowness and commercialism on display for all the world to marvel over.

One of the stupidest examples of this is the Beach Volleyball event. Women in teeny tiny bikinis play volleyball in sand. As an Olympic event. Riiiight. Now tell me, could this be a popular sport if the athletes wore shorts and shirts as they do in regular volleyball? Of course not. I think it would be interesting to see if they played in swimwear from a more chaste era -



But then there'd be no ratings, no advertisers, nothing for people to leer over and fantasize about while pretending to really care about the beauty of the game and the competitiveness of those gritty young ladies.

For that matter, why aren't all the women's Olympic events played in skimpy little bikinis? And let's not be sexist here, the men should wear skimpy little bottoms too - wouldn't that be fun to see in the boxing ring and on the basketball court?

See this is what I find so stupid about the modern Olympics; the blatant disregard for the spirit of the Games. Olympic games should be classic contests of athleticism, not merely a showcase for whatever new passing fancy is in vogue. Limit the events to track and field, swimming, gymnastics, boxing, and wrestling. Of course there'd be no one watching, but is this really so bad compared to the situation now?

We have one sport in particular - "Womens" gymnastics - where the athletes are practically forced to stunt their physical development through diuretics, laxatives, eating disorders and intimadation. The top "women" in this sport are 14-16 years old and are washed up by their late teens. Not to mention the dirty little secret of sexual abuse that is well known to happen by some of the coaches of these "women".

So we have an event that features pubescent young "women" flauncing around in tight, revealing costumes, and an event that features real women flauncing around in the sand showing their asses in tight, revealing bikinis. Is any of this really fooling anyone into thinking that people watch this as legitimate sport? Don't be surprised if in the near future we have Olympic events like the Double-ended Dildo Tug-O-War, the Stripper-Pole Vault, and Womens Synchronized Orgasm.

More Police State Terrorism

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It's bad enough that we have to worry about foreign terrorists, but now we also have to worry about our own police forces smashing their way into the homes of innocent people, arresting them, and killing their dogs for no reason.

The Mayor of Berwyn Heights, Maryland, and his wife had such a thing happen to them. The link is to an article on CNN's website. Imagine coming home and finding a package on your front step addressed to your spouse. You bring it inside, and the next thing you know armored SWAT forces are smashing through your door, shooting your pets to death, and terrorising your family - and you've done nothing illegal. This is the "Free Country" we live in, the one our forefathers went off to fight wars for, to die for, so we could live in peace and freedom. Thanks to our neo-fascist president and his followers, we have lost our freedoms and gained a police state where we can be victimized by our police who are supposed to serve and protect us.

This is going to be more and more common, unfortunately, as we continue to watch our civil liberties erode before our eyes, all in the name of liberty.

Heroic or Suicidal?

You may have read about the 11 (at least) climbers who died this week on K2 in Pakistan. Whenever a climber dies on one of these mountains, articles invariably refer to him or her as "heroic". Tell me, what's heroic about climbing a 28,000 foot mountain that will kill you if you make one mistake, or if misfortune finds you?

I find it sad and strange that we often find these foolish, egotistical thrillseekers being hailed as heroes for doing something that is in no way heroic. They are knowingly and willingly placing themselves and everyone else on the climb in mortal danger. And for what noble purpose do they risk the lives of so many? Ego. Don't try to make it into something that it's not - it's purely an ego thing. They do it so they can say that they climbed such-and-such.

There's no heroism in doing something that doesn't benefit another human being. It's incredibly selfish behavior, to put others in terrible danger so that you can join a foolish fraternity of narcissists. I feel sad for the families of the dead, to think that they have to suffer without their sons, fathers, husbands, because they put their selfish egotistical desires above the needs of their families.

The mountains will always attract fools - people that think there is some sort of glory to be found in standing at the top of a mountain. When you think about all the other things that are truly heroic, it's an insult to call one of these mountain climbers a hero because they died in a place that humans aren't capable of surviving. Save the label "hero" for people that actually save lives, not for those that throw theirs away.

Next Stop; Nazi America

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Scary article in the Washington Post about how the government, almost officially calling itself Big Brother, can and is detaining personal electronics such as laptops and cellphones without any probably cause. The auspices of this extremely egregious violation of the 4th Amendment is that at border crossings, sometimes peoples laptops, cellphones, scraps of paper and video tapes have to be taken and examined for an unspecified amount of time in the interests of national security.

I cannot overstate enough that the DHS does NOT need to have any reasonable cause to take your laptop or cellphone or iPod or even scraps of paper you've written on. NONE! And they don't have to tell you when or even if you'll ever get your stuff back. AND they can copy and distribute your data as they see fit.

Does this sound at all like a government that believes in our Constitution and Bill of Rights? I sure as hell don't think so! It sounds more and more like a Nazi government, bent on destroying any civil liberties that don't fall in line with the party line.

This is but one small step away from the Gestapo/DHS showing up at your door in the middle of the night to search your house. Seriously - I'm not at all going for melodrama when I say this. We as a nation have lost our rights, and no one seems to give a fuck. What will it take to make the sheep of this nation realize that we are all at risk of losing everything?

Hooray For France

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Recently, the case of a Moroccan woman seeking French citizenship has been making news. For details, see this NY Times article. I applaud the French government for their stance, as "politically incorrect" as it may seem to some people.

We have to remember that the state of a nation - France, the U.S., whichever - is just as worthy of preserving as the rights of its citizens. In this case, this woman is NOT a citizen, and has no rights afforded to citizens. If the government deems that she isn't entitled to citizenship, then that is their right, and should be respected.

The crux of the matter is the religious beliefs and expressions of those beliefs by Ms. Silmi. She insists on wearing the full veil, known as a niqab, which covers her entire face except for a slit for her eyes. This is unacceptable to the protectively secular French. Ms. Silmi, and others, insist that they have a right to the private religious expressions and beliefs they choose. However, they seem to not understand that when one walks around in PUBLIC wearing religious garments that are offensive to people who believe in equality of the sexes, one is no longer practicing in private.

I applaud France for the decision, and I only wish that my own country would establish policies more in the interests of secularism and less in religion.

Tattooed Ladies

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Just a quick little rant here about the sad practice of a beautiful woman disfiguring her skin with stupid, ugly tattoos. I saw this comparison of Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie on some other website, and how they both have these tattoos scrawled across their upper backs. What a shame, really.

There's nothing more unattractive than tattoos, including cigarettes, on a good looking woman. At least you can quit smoking, which immediately makes you 10x more attractive. Tattoos just look cheap, classless, and trashy.

Another tattoo on Megan Fox spells out the name "Brian". I bet she's not with this Brian guy anymore, but she still has that stupid tattoo. At least now you can laser it off somewhat, and have a big scarred area instead. How lovely. It's probably just never a good idea to do anything permanent to your body based on your "undying" love for someone - until you dump them or they dump you, or the alcohol wears off and all you're left with is a killer hangover and a permanent reminder of how stupid you are.

But of course Megan and Angelina are simply expressing their individuality, their uniqueness. Nevermind that millions of other unique individuals have the same stupid tribal patterns, tramp stamps, and ankle butterflies as each other - you're all so fucking unique!! Hooray you, for your willingness to openly express your inner trashiness for all to enjoy.

Where's Karldo?

Douchebag Supreme, Architect of the Worst Administration In U.S. History, Karl Rove is missing! Reports have placed him in an undisclosed location outside the country. The fact that he's been subpoenaed to testify before Congress doesn't mean shit to the man affectionately known as "Turdblossom". Turdblossom is thumbing his pig-like snout at our judicial system, our Constitution, and at all of us, the citizens of the United States.

Please, if you see him let someone in the State Dept. know where Karldo is - he has an important meeting with some people who'd like to ask him some tough questions, and then hopefully fit him for a stylish orange jumpsuit.

One last thought; this may be the modus operandi for all Bush administration cronies - the Nazi-like exodus to foreign lands to escape justice. Who will be our Bush Hunters, our Mossad, our Wiesenthal?

Jesse Helms, Dead Racist

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You know, I just read a very good commentary by Roland S. Martin, of CNN.com that takes issue with the glowing praise heaped upon the very dead and very racist Jesse Helms.

We're a funny society; when someone is alive people take all kinds of pot-shots at them and worse. Once that person dies however, they suddenly become a saintly figure. Well you know what? Martin is right on the money. Helms was a racist son-of-a-bitch, and it's about fucking time that he was denounced for it. I applaud Martin's commentary, although I really wish that he had the balls to write this before the bastard died. Better late than never, I guess.

I'm tired of the tolerance for racism in America. Easy for me to say as a middle-class white guy, but really, it's way past the time we allowed assholes like Helms the luxury of voicing their hatred in political office. If someone's a racist and they aren't an elected official, oh well, people have the right to be assholes and ignorant. But we MUST stop voting for people who espouse hatred towards ANY minority, be they race-based, faith-based, gender-based, or sexuality-based. It's bad that there are plenty of fucks like Helms in the world, but it's shameful that we keep electing them.

I've always heard that it's not nice to say bad things about the dead. Too fucking bad - I'm not nice. I'm also not religious or superstitious so I have no fear in saying that I'm glad as hell that another racist prick is dead. If only more of them would see the error of their ways (Special thanks to the good Dr. Zaius for his guidance on the error of my ways).

South Carolina Hates Non-Christians

South Carolina is proposing to make Christian license plates. They would feature a big cross and the words "I Believe", as in the above example from a proposed Florida plate. In an article at CNN's site, the whole thing is explained in more detail. Never mind that this is a gross violation of the Separation of Church and State. Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer apparently has never heard of this obscure, mystifyingly vague concept;

"I think it allows people of faith to profess that they believe in a higher calling, they believe in God," said Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer.

Yes Mr. Bauer, it does allow people to profess their belief in God. So does tattooing "I Believe" on your forehead or putting bumper stickers on your car. The problem here, Mr. Bauer, is that the State has no right to favor or promote one religion over another or over non-religion. There's that pesky little Separation thing again. God Damn those Founding Fathers and their ideas on equality! This is a Christian nation, and only Christians will be given special privileges like "I Believe" license plates!

I made the comment that South Carolina hates non-Christians. Some of you may be saying, "Whoa - that's a bit much there, Angry Dave". Let me then tell you why I feel this is the case.

South Carolina's legislature isn't making a similar plate available for any other faith. So no Jewish license plates, no Muslim license plates, Buddist, Zoroastran, Satanist, Pagan, or Atheist plates. ONLY CHRISTIAN!

As the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State so correctly puts it;

"The state has made believers of non-Christian faiths feel that they are second-class citizens...Under our Constitution, that's impermissible."

Lt. Gov. Bauer has a different viewpoint - he's feeling persecuted that Christians shouldn't be given special privileges. He said that people who oppose these plates are "prejudiced against Christians". Mr. Bauer, I am not prejudiced against Christians, but I am against one group of people forcing their beliefs on everyone else, at the same time as not extending the same privileges that their own little group is enjoying. That's just fucking wrong! I am prejudiced against proselytizing, sanctimonious, Holier-than-Thou assholes who think that they have a monopoly on belief systems.

I am going to be watching this very closely - if this happens as planned, we are all one step closer to the theocracy I fear we are inevitably doomed to become. Thanks, Christians, for your ever so tolerant ways towards we non-Christians. Well done!

God Blechh America

When did the saying "God Bless America" become such an infestation of phony patriotism? Was it right after 9/11? Or was it's inception more strongly founded in the Cold War era?

I love America - I'm an American born and bred. But I don't love everything my country does, and I don't believe in or understand the notion of "God Bless America". This seemingly pleasant and innocent little saying is really offensive when you start to think about it. It was nearly inescapable over this 4th of July holiday, from the song at baseball games, to firework displays, and on countless bumper stickers.

Do the people that say this, and especially the bumper sticker people, think that God favors America above all nations? This to me would be extremely un-Christian, as I believe the Bible tells you that God loves all his children. I don't recall ever hearing that it was only the American ones. But perhaps I'm wrong, as I am an Atheist and this religious stuff is all a bit nonsensical to me.

Think about it though - when you say "God Bless America" you're really saying "Fuck You, Rest of the World". Why not say something a little more in line with those so-called 'Christian Values' we always hear so much about? Here are some suggestions;

"God Bless Earth" - I'm pretty sure I've actually seen this once or twice.

"God Bless All of Us, Even the Poor, the Gays, the Blacks, the Jews, The Muslims, and Even Those Awful Liberal Democrats" - I know, I'm dreaming.

"God Bless Whoever God Feels Like Blessing" - Enough already with you fucking Christian prima donnas thinking you can decide who is worthy of blessing. Seriously.

So those are a few suggestions that maybe the religious types will try out, just for kicks you know.

Related to this whole "God Bless..." thing is the weird practice of putting American flags on your car - here in America. I could almost see the point of displaying your patriotic pride if you did that when you were not in America, but driving around here with a flag is sort of like signaling to everyone that you're not sure which country you're in at the moment.

We're IN America! I know that, you know that, but apparently the morons with the flags on their cars have forgotten where they are. Do they really need the reminder? Are they thinking that they're MORE patriotic than people who don't drive with a flag on their car? That must be it - some people just need to show everyone else how whatever they are, whether it's patriotic, cool, tough, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, whatever. Weird really when you think about it. It's like putting one of those flags on their cars somehow is going to make them a better person. Maybe God will bless them more than people like me who don't put anything on their cars.

And this seems to be a purely American phenomenon. I've been to other countries and haven't seen nearly the amount of jingoism that is common here. Do other countries have songs equivalent to "God Bless America"? Is there a "God Bless The Netherlands" or "Allah Bless Afghanistan"?

I'd like to think that IF there was a god, he, she, or it wouldn't give a flying rat's ass about one group of people over another based on what speck of dirt they huddle on. I'd like to think that IF there was a god, he, she, or it would like to have a word with the people that think they can speak for this god about what he, she, or it wants or doesn't want. I bet that would be most interesting.

Damned Kids!

Rant time! People and their kids are driving me nucking futs lately. The other day I was at the dentist and this lady was in the waiting room with her three boys. They were probably between 9 and 11 years old. The three of them were running around, banging on shit, wrestling with each other, throwing a fucking ball around, making tons of noise and general mayhem. Mom just sat there with this bemused stupid expression on her face like she was thinking "oh what darling little angels".

I seriously wanted to go up to her and say "Lady, your fucking kids are acting like animals. Teach them some manners, you stupid cow!" Instead I sat there trying to ignore the whole annoying mess as I read the National Geographic. Chalk one up for civility, I guess.

Now if this was an isolated incident, I wouldn't be ranting like this. But this was the second time in a few days that something like this happened. A couple days earlier Iwas out at my favorite taco place and there were two parents each with a little girl. The girls were screaming and running around, jumping all over the place and acting like they were on the playground. Granted, a taco joint isn't a fancy restaurant, but still, there are people trying to eat and I sure as hell don't need two 5 year olds squealing and stomping about.

What the hell is wrong with parents anyway? Did it suddenly become acceptable to just let your kids behave any way they choose? It seems that manners and consideration for others have been tossed in favor of a "I'll do whatever the fuck I want" attitude. It's this type of entitled attitude that is getting more and more common. People, if you can't expect your offspring to show some sort of civilized behavior in public, then please stay the hell home! You are no more important or special than anyone else, so stop fucking thinking that you are and teach your kids some manners, and learn some yourselves while you're at it.

Of Course It Makes Sense!

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Thanks to Nicole Belle at Crooks and Liars for bringing this to my attention; The Bush administration, in yet another brilliant move based on logic, intelligence, rational thought and concern for the well-being of the American people (and humanity in general) has decided that we must hold off on developing that dangerous, toxic energy source known mysteriously as SOLAR power.

In this inexplicably laconic NY Times article, the decision to put a moratorium on the development of solar farms is described. It's a ridiculously transparent sham by our oil-loving, nay, our oil-whoring government to promote the continued exploitation of fossil fuels at an ever increasing cost to consumers, political relations, and the health of the planet. At the same time, Bushes cronies are saying that we must do a 2-year study on the environmental impact of solar farms, AND open up drilling for oil in protected areas. Is this fucking crazy, or what?

What kind of bullshit is this? Where's the outrage? Come on people, speak the fuck up, do something to let your elected 'leaders' know that this is nothing more than Big Oil protecting its own interests at the expense of our economy, health, and environment.

How The West Was Lost

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There's an outstanding article at National Geographic's website about the drying up of the American west. One of the more interesting facts about what's going on is that according to millennia worth of data, the 20th century was the wettest one on record, which of course coincides with the incredible population expansion.

Along with this article is a series of stunning photographs, both aesthetically and editorially. Looking at the oasis-like vision of a lush golf course in the middle of a freaking desert is an excellent insight into our culture of excess and destructive gluttony. Do we really need golf courses in the middle of deserts? Do we really need cities where there are more than 30+ days of 110 degree or higher temperatures? These relics of 20th century thinking are not only dangerous to the environment, but ultimately to the people that live there. What will happen to them when the water runs dry, which it inevitably will?

We've seen again and again the sorry condition of our electric infrastructure. Every summer it's the same thing - blackouts and brownouts because of too much demand on an aging, obsolete system. Just the other day here in Rhode Island we had outages when temps hit the high 90's. Imagine what will happen in Phoenix when the system fails.

We as a nation were seduced by the abundance (relative) of water in the west last century which came at exactly the right time for industrialization and population growth, only now to be faced with the very real threat of losing massive areas of our country to drought, fire, and withering heat.

Water is scarce and soon I fear will be the cause for violence. I hope we can figure out a solution to this serious problem peacefully.